The LAST Time!

Yesterday I signed up for Slimming World for the last time. I'm heavier than I've ever been, and I'm determined to finally shift all the excess weight.

I've followed Slimming World before, so I know it works, and I know I lose weight on it. As I have recovered more and more from my depression, and as life starts to look a bit more normal, losing weight was always next on my list, as I know my size doesn't help with my moods.

So last week I decided that now is the time. Last night I joined my local group, and made sure it was a group that had different classes so that I can even attend during different shift weeks - no excuses! I'm reading the books through again, making sure I'm following the plan properly, looking at it with new eyes. I'm feeling totally fired up, and am looking forward to going to class each week, I know it's going to take a long time, after all it took me a fair while to put all the weight on, but I have support and I AM going to do this!

My target is my 40th birthday, which is 2 years,7 months and 27 days away. Plenty of time for a slow, steady weight loss to pay off. Go me :)

Sleep. The Final Frontier!

The time is almost upon us. On Monday I shall (once again) be heading back to work. This time I'm hoping it's for good, no more trip ups or bumps in the road, just a straight up back to work and back to normality!

My moods are pretty much there, no more wild swings and deep depressive days. My anxiety seems to be under control, I still feel anxious, but am more able to control those feelings. However, there is one stone in my return to work shoe.....my sleep. I'm still not sleeping well, I either sleep too much or not enough  - waking up shattered and wanting to nap again later. This is the last hurdle I have to overcome, and I'm sure that when I'm working the sleep will be easier, at least I hope so.

This last week was supposed to be a week of fun, of enjoying these last few days and making sure I was in a good place ready for Monday. We did manage to head out and enjoy the sunshine on Tuesday, but on Wednesday I was walloped by a migraine, that has only just retreated today, so that wiped out Thursday completely :(

That means the (free - yay) visit to the cinema to see Avengers Assemble as been held off until the weekend. So here we are again....returning to work, having normal weekends, and getting back to myself! This time it's for good!

Coming Out The Other Side

It's been an age since I've blogged. I guess the urge to share my life disappears slightly when each day blends into the other, locked in a Groundhog Day existence of similar, anxious days and sleepless nights.

However, over the last couple of weeks, I've noticed a rather pleasant change. Slowly, but surely my anxious moments are lessening. My moods are quite even now. I am able to leave the house on my own and be just fine. Today I had a meeting at work, something that a few weeks ago would have thrown me into days of anxiety, passed by without incident. A HUGE step forward for me, and something I'm quite proud of. It looks like I'm finally getting there, finally getting back to normality, and am now just over a week away from a return to work - I'm feeling okay about that too.

I'm also still in love with my iPhone. I love the things it can do, I love the camera, I love the apps and I love the sheer fact that it streamlines everything into one phone. Just wonderful :)

I'm sure I'll be blogging more now that I'm starting to feel a lot better, here's hoping anyway!

My Exploring Shoes

Today we had planned to go to the Valentine's Beer Festival at the BlackFriars Brewery, but neither of us had a great night and it took an enormous effort just to drag ourselves out of bed and into the car to go and pick up a freecycled DVD player.
When we were driving home we passed The WaterWays on the seafront. Due to it being absolutely bloody freezing just about all the water was frozen - it looked gorgeous, but I hadn't brought my camera or a coat and so we headed off home.

Indoors I snuggled up on the sofa, fully prepared for a whole lot of nothing, but the blue sky outside and the thought of the beautiful frozen gardens kept gnawing away at my head and so I gave up, and in the name of taking some pictures and getting off my butt (part of my ever exciting Get Off My Butt And Do More regime) I wrapped myself up all cosy and set out.

Now the WaterWays are way up the North end of the sea front, past the piers and I guess past the radar of some of the tourists who confine themeselves to the Golden Mile, but they have been there since 1928. When they were built the water contained boats which were electrically propelled around the gardens. The boats are long since gone, but the bridges are still there, and it's still a pretty little hideaway away from the bustle of the arcades and beach.

I'd never had a wander around there before and took the opportunity to take quite a few pictures, avoiding the ice and snow that was still surprisingly abundant. Most of my time was taken around the lake, where the ducks where crammed into a much smaller area than usual, and as such were easy to get nice and close to. I thoroughly enjoyed my walk, getting some fresh (cold) air, and taking some pictures and once again I find myself wondering why I don't go exploring more often.....

The WaterWays ...

Big Plans!

Next week I'm off work. "What?" I hear you cry from through the t'interwebs..."You've only just started to go back!" Well yes, that is indeed true, but my job involves working three weeks of shifts and then having a week off. This may sound heavenly but I don't get paid for that week off, and during those weeks of work I'll have rather a few 12 hour shifts, so it works out that I work roughly 48 hour weeks when I'm there...Anyhoo, that's not what I'm blogging about - but I thought I'd set the stage as it were :)

This is my first proper week off since back in August and I'm not planning on wasting it. I am going to get all those niggly little jobs done that I have been neglecting. The various piles of Things That Need Sorting Out will be getting sorted out. I'm starting small :)

Things That Need Sorting Out...

I am pondering sorting out the smallest bedroom, but it might not get done, so I might save that for my next week off in 4 weeks time!

Tomorrow, the little things in the living room WILL get sorted! I might then have a rest day on Tuesday and tackle the little bedroom on Wednesday. That leaves the rest of the week to do absolutely nothing except enjoy being at home, enjoy walking the WigglePig and enjoy my birthday - did I not mention that?? It's my birthday on Friday as well.

When you add to all this the fact that right now Great Yarmouth is covered in snow, Hague has declared that I am to be spoiled rotten today AND we have Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the house and you have one happy Karen! Long may it continue!

(January Book Club coming soon - I promise!)

Slowly Improving

2012 started off quite poorly as I blogged a couple of weeks ago, but since then it does seem to have bucked up its ideas a wee bit.
So far, in a mere 23 days this year has included two family deaths, a court hearing, still no CRB for Hague and utter skintness.

However....

Things are looking up, no-one else has died, thank goodness, and the court hearing last week went exceptionally well. Both Hague and his ex sat down and discussed the issues and came to an agreement together. Something that really does seem to have brought out the best in both of them and the current respectful, helpful and polite way that issues are being dealt with is the best thing we could have possible hoped for - long may it last for the good and welfare of all involved :) Add to that the fact that soon Hague will be having extended contact with his boys and it's definitely a bit of a high spot for the year so far!

The much delayed CRB finally seems to be in its final stages, Hague's soon to be employers are keeping him informed so hopefully he'll be back at work within the next few weeks. A development which will seriously help with the skintness, and will allow us to maybe start to save for some of the home improvements we've been unable to complete.

Finally my ground-breaking scheme to lose weight, Get Off My Butt And Do Stuff, has so far been working. The combination of being back at work, and so being way more active and me making little decisions regarding portion sizes and what I'm eating has resulted in my losing 4lbs so far this year. This means I'm still on track for my 1lb a week target without me feeling like I'm actually dieting or anything! Go me!

Soon I'll be back at work full time (next week) and so life will slowly be getting back to normal. I hope this is another huge step towards my full recovery. The last stage will be the slow removal of the anti-depressants, but baby steps eh?