Trying to stay afloat

I'm sure these blogs will be boringly similar, but it is helping me to get through these days without Dan to just witter on about how I'm feeling.


I'm missing him ridiculous amounts, and I'm scared as well. He is rapidly going downhill into depression at being stuck in hospital. It seems that the better he is getting physically, the worse he is mentally. Tonight's visit was almost like visiting someone I didn't know - and there is nothing I can do to help.


I feel like everything I'm asking him is annoying him, when I try to help, or to chat, I feel like he is biting his tongue from telling me to sod off. He is so angry and frustrated, and he has a long recovery ahead of him.


I'm so upset at seeing him like this, I want to be able to cheer him up when I see him, but nothing seems to lift him. I can't wait for him to come out and be at home, at least he will be more comfortable then, and have things to do, even if it is just watch sky and go on Facebook.


I love him so, so much, and I just want My Daniel back, I want to be able to see him smile, to hold his hand, feel him lying next to me and for him to be happy again.