I never have liked Mondays, but today has been pretty crap. I guess for people who aren’t at work it’s been lovely. Bright sunshine to enjoy in whichever way you choose.
I’ve been stuck at work, in an office where I can’t see the sun, trying and failing to stop myself thinking about the 11th of July and what the outcome will be for me. I can’t help but feel that my life will be changing quite dramatically very soon, and not in a good way. I hate feeling unsettled like this, I like to know what’s going on, in fact when it comes to work being stuck in a rut isn’t a bad thing. I like being able to rely on my job, on my wages and right now everything has been thrown up in the air and I just have to wait until the pieces fall back down.
The weekend was so, so lovely, and it felt easy to let the worries melt away. To feel that as things were out of my hands it was futile to worry. However, being back at work has brought everything into sharp focus. It’s just about the first thing people ask me about and just being here has made everything real again, something to worry about again. It’s a horrible feeling, and as much as I moan about work I have truly never felt as miserable to be here as I do at the moment. Enthusiasm and motivation are gone. All the tasks and projects that I was planning to get my teeth into are colourless, pointless, until I know…..But then you have the other question…What to do when I DO know, when the axe has fallen. If I keep my job, 3 others are losing theirs, maybe not unemployed, but certainly not in this position anymore. The “successful” ones will have to try and deliver the job of two people, and the rest of us will have to take stock, adjust and try to come to terms with this bolt out of the blue.
Mondays truly, totally, utterly suck – and today might just be the suckiest :o(
I’ve been stuck at work, in an office where I can’t see the sun, trying and failing to stop myself thinking about the 11th of July and what the outcome will be for me. I can’t help but feel that my life will be changing quite dramatically very soon, and not in a good way. I hate feeling unsettled like this, I like to know what’s going on, in fact when it comes to work being stuck in a rut isn’t a bad thing. I like being able to rely on my job, on my wages and right now everything has been thrown up in the air and I just have to wait until the pieces fall back down.
The weekend was so, so lovely, and it felt easy to let the worries melt away. To feel that as things were out of my hands it was futile to worry. However, being back at work has brought everything into sharp focus. It’s just about the first thing people ask me about and just being here has made everything real again, something to worry about again. It’s a horrible feeling, and as much as I moan about work I have truly never felt as miserable to be here as I do at the moment. Enthusiasm and motivation are gone. All the tasks and projects that I was planning to get my teeth into are colourless, pointless, until I know…..But then you have the other question…What to do when I DO know, when the axe has fallen. If I keep my job, 3 others are losing theirs, maybe not unemployed, but certainly not in this position anymore. The “successful” ones will have to try and deliver the job of two people, and the rest of us will have to take stock, adjust and try to come to terms with this bolt out of the blue.
Mondays truly, totally, utterly suck – and today might just be the suckiest :o(
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