Passing Me By!

I have once again been neglecting my little blog. I've been back to work (I know), and seem to have been doing nothing but sleeping and working!

I guess you could say this is progress as I made it through a whole week, must admit I'm enjoying my week off now though :)

So what have I been up to?

Working
Job hunting for Hague
Walking The Boo
Sleeping
Not sleeping
STILL taking photos
Enjoying the sun
Still loving my phone
Not blogging

So there you have it, life has continued as normal! ;) I shall be updating more often, I promise!

Sleep. The Final Frontier!

The time is almost upon us. On Monday I shall (once again) be heading back to work. This time I'm hoping it's for good, no more trip ups or bumps in the road, just a straight up back to work and back to normality!

My moods are pretty much there, no more wild swings and deep depressive days. My anxiety seems to be under control, I still feel anxious, but am more able to control those feelings. However, there is one stone in my return to work shoe.....my sleep. I'm still not sleeping well, I either sleep too much or not enough  - waking up shattered and wanting to nap again later. This is the last hurdle I have to overcome, and I'm sure that when I'm working the sleep will be easier, at least I hope so.

This last week was supposed to be a week of fun, of enjoying these last few days and making sure I was in a good place ready for Monday. We did manage to head out and enjoy the sunshine on Tuesday, but on Wednesday I was walloped by a migraine, that has only just retreated today, so that wiped out Thursday completely :(

That means the (free - yay) visit to the cinema to see Avengers Assemble as been held off until the weekend. So here we are again....returning to work, having normal weekends, and getting back to myself! This time it's for good!

Smart, or Not?

I don't know about you, but as money has got tighter those "cheapie" brands at the supermarket are looking more and more attractive. Over the last year or so, we've been trying out more and more of them, after all, if you don't try them, how do you know if they're any good?

So I thought I'd share some of the bargains I've found in the Asda Smart Price range, that are worth every penny, and a perfectly good replacement for named or own name brands :)

Ready Salted Crisps

These cost just 68p for 12 bags, so pretty damn cheap. The packs are small, 18g, but that's around the normal size for a multi-pack bag. The crisps themselves taste lovely. Really potatoe-y, and not too salty. I personally like the fact that the skin is still on them as it gives that little bit of extra flavour, and let's be honest, a lot of crisps are sold as premium because they have the skins on lol!
As you can see from the ingredients, they consist of just potatoes, oil and salt, and there are just 96 calories in a bag. These have become a staple in our household, and quite honestly, if you like your crisps plain, you might as well save yourself some cash and buy these!! Big thumbs up!

Cheese Singles

Cheese singles, hardly a gourmet food, and something we only buy to put on burgers, and as such as long as it tastes vaguely cheesy and melts, it does the job. Now, if you're going to use them in sandwiches you might want to pay a bit extra (or buy proper cheese!!!), but for burger toppings, these are just fine, especially if, like us, you also add a variety of sauces, onions or whatever to your burgers.  At a price of 54p for 10 rather than £1 for 10 for the standard Asda ones, you really might as well save your money :)

Any recommendations?

Coming Out The Other Side

It's been an age since I've blogged. I guess the urge to share my life disappears slightly when each day blends into the other, locked in a Groundhog Day existence of similar, anxious days and sleepless nights.

However, over the last couple of weeks, I've noticed a rather pleasant change. Slowly, but surely my anxious moments are lessening. My moods are quite even now. I am able to leave the house on my own and be just fine. Today I had a meeting at work, something that a few weeks ago would have thrown me into days of anxiety, passed by without incident. A HUGE step forward for me, and something I'm quite proud of. It looks like I'm finally getting there, finally getting back to normality, and am now just over a week away from a return to work - I'm feeling okay about that too.

I'm also still in love with my iPhone. I love the things it can do, I love the camera, I love the apps and I love the sheer fact that it streamlines everything into one phone. Just wonderful :)

I'm sure I'll be blogging more now that I'm starting to feel a lot better, here's hoping anyway!

I succumbed

I did it, what can I say? I have no defence, I've been sucked in....I'm officially a FanGirl.

After lusting after the 4S since it was released I've finally got one. I called up my phone company, as I was close to my upgrade I figured they might match the deals I'd found online...but no! I was advised that they wouldn't match the £36 a month deal I'd found so I decided to throw caution to the wind and sign up for a new contract (with the same company lol).

So I've now had my pretty little iPhone for 2 days. I've played with it, downloaded things to it, taken pictures with it and have fallen utterly in love with it. I'm guessing this is why they are massively popular - it's not just style over substance, they are beautiful little pieces of technology. I've also discovered iMessage, so have been merrily texting away to friends from foreign climes - for free :)

Every day I'm finding out something else it can do, for once, I've had no doubts about the phone I've upgraded to, which is a pleasant change. Now all I have to do is wait for it's skin to arrive so I can personalise it a wee bit and it'll be utterly perfect :)

Little iPhone....I <3 you! 

The Yearly Debate

It's that time of the year again. Early spring, which brings with it daffodils, bright skies, Easter and FA Cup semi-finals. It also brings the most debated sporting event in the calendar (in England anyway). The Grand National.

I'm sure many of you have already decided what this blog will be about, knowing I'm a soppy, animal loving vegetarian. However, I'm probably going to prove you wrong! As always, Twitter and Facebook have been alight with calls to ban horse racing due to the devastatingly sad news that two horses failed to survive the race this year. Despite safety changes being made every year to the course at Aintree, yet more horses have sustained injuries that cannot be treated. I hate this fact, I hate than any animal has to die.....but.....those horses were doing what they were trained to do. They were doing what they loved, running alongside other horses, being part of a pack.

Whilst I can be upset at this news, I am confused as to the amount of people calling for the sport to be banned. I'm confused as to the difference between this "cruel" sport and the eating of meat. Purebred race horses are bred to race. They are looked after, nurtured and cared for by trainers who want the best for their animals. These animals are there because of the racing industry. If racing was banned, those animals would either be put to sleep, or put out to pasture, despite being bred to run and race and jump. Isn't that more cruel to those magnificent animals?

How is the tragic fall of a racehorse, who is then attended by vets and only euthanised if the injury is untreatable (as is often the case with broken limbs), and even then, is treated with dignity, shielded from the crowd and put to sleep quickly, more cruel than the death of a cow, pig, lamb or chicken destined to end its life in a slaughterhouse? Part of a production line with hundreds of others, dealt with as a commodity to satisfy the taste for fresh meat?

Perhaps I'm oversimplifying, but how is the value of one animal decided? Is it how cute they are? Is it the fact that horseracing is a spectacle, broadcast for the world to see whilst animals destined for plates are dealt with away from prying eyes, only reaching view when in palatable little plastic trays, devoid of their "cuteness"?

Before deciding that something is cruel, perhaps a deeper view is needed. People in general will never, ever agree. It's our very nature to provoke and debate. However, much as I don't eat meat, wear leather and try to be responsible in the products I use I would not call for the eating of meat to be banned. It's an industry, like any other, that contributes to our economy and the same goes for horse racing.

If you ban horse racing, do you then ban halaal meat? What about battery eggs? Non free range meat? Feeding mice to snakes? Where do you draw the line?

A Spark Of Invention

I have, this evening, invented a word. I shall ignore the ridiculous versions on Urban Dictionary and I shall present to you my new word....

Squilly :)

This is the state you find yourself in when, after partaking in a few alcoholic beverages you find yourself feeling a bit squiffy....being in such a state means that you might start embarking on behaviour that others may find slightly silly.

Congratulations, you are being squilly :)

I feel that this word is deserving of being spread across the t'interwebz as fast as fibre optic cables can carry it.

Enjoy!

Getting There?

I've realised something today. Whilst driving home from Asda it suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't felt anxious once.

Perhaps it's had something to do with Hague being away for the weekend, so I HAD to go out and walk Boo, and pop to the shops on my own, and I managed. Despite feeling anxious then, I got through, and so today, the first day of having Hague back, I've not felt panicky.

I'm really hoping this is real progress. I've been following my Occupational Health advisor's advice and it does seem to be slowly helping, it would be nice to think that maybe I'm getting there, that maybe, just maybe I'm only a matter of weeks away from being back to myself, feeling normal again. Able to cope like most other people cope with the normality of life from day to day.

My certificate runs out on Friday, and whilst I don't feel quite ready to go back, I'm certainly feeling like that isn't an impossibility, that going back will be happening sooner rather than later. A feeling I've not had in a long time!

So I shall keep pushing myself onwards, I shall keep doing as I'm advised, and with a bit of luck, I'll be back earning a living before too many more weeks have passed :)

Two Weeks In The Life Of Minxy

I didn't realise it had been so long since my last post, and I was just as overwhelmed by the response from that one :)

Despite failing at returning to work, I have been doing my utmost to get myself better. To stop the feelings of anxiety and panic and to try and work through them to get myself back to normal (or as close to normal as I feel comfortable being! This has meant pushing myself to get out of the house, however uncomfortable that makes me. Going to the supermarket - which for some reason has become a huge source of anxiety for me and the biggest hurdle, being out on my own....no Hague, no Boo....just me alone.

I'm doing my best, I'm doing all of those things, just not quite as regularly as I need to, and not without feeling utterly on the edge. This WILL get better, I know it will, it's just a case of being patient, and doing what I can to get strong again.

So what else have I been up to? Here's a little photo guide to the last two weeks :)

Celebrating a Birthday.

Catching up with old friends, and meeting lovely new ones.

Looking after myself (my own interpretation)

Enjoying my stupid pets making me laugh

Sleeping too much, or struggling to get any at all :(

Hunting Ladybirds

Walking Boo

Exploring with my camera

 Trying Choccy Philly!

 Enjoying this beautiful Spring weather

So as you can see, I'm trying to keep busy and trying to get better. Onwards and upwards!

Overwhelmed

When you're not feeling great, you feel so very alone. That's how I felt yesterday when I posted my blog. Alone, helpless, a let down and a failure.

I honestly didn't expect anything more than a few virtual hugs as people got on with their own lives with their own problems. What I got was something amazing...

My friends and family, from all over the world, with friendships spanning both years and months reaching out to me. Some left lovely comments to let me know they were thinking of me, others took the time to send messages of support and love, and to share their experiences, simply to let me know things WILL get better.

Every single person who took the time to help me made me feel a million times better, every word helped to make me feel stronger, every drop of love and compassion typed through a computer may have made me cry - but they were humble tears, and I don't think I can even begin to thank you all as much as you deserve for what you did.

You may not have realised it, but you helped me beyond measure yesterday, and I appreciated it more than I can say.

xxx

Going Backwards

It's 6.12am on a Monday morning and I should be at work. I have spent the last fortnight doing my utmost to get my head straight, to stop the stressy, anxious feelings and have myself back to work today.

I've failed.

I wish I knew the reasons behind this backward step, I wish I knew why anxiety grips me when I contemplate returning to work. I WAS back at work, I was getting back into the swing of it, I was (just about) coping with the shifts and was getting to know my new workmates and making friends. Yet now I find myself going back to the days of feeling like I'm letting everyone down, the days of being in tears due to the sheer frustration of feeling so damn useless.

I'm still on my medication, even my sleep seems to be getting a bit better (earplugs FTW!), but I feel trapped inside my own head, trapped by my own inability to cope with the simplest task of just going to work in the morning.

If you have never suffered from a depressive illness, you're probably reading this and thinking "Oh pull yourself together for goodness sake", and I wish more than anything it was that easy. When you are trying to cope with a mental illness the effects are just as crushing as a physical ailment. This morning I literally could not get myself ready for work. I even got up early as I knew it would be a bit of a hurdle for me, but when you are still sitting in the bathroom after twenty minutes, telling yourself in so many different ways that you NEED to go to work, you NEED to at least get yourself dressed and the only achievement you manage is to reduce yourself to tears the barrier might as well be a brick wall rather than your own head.

I'm not sure why I'm sharing this, I'm in tears still as I type, wondering what it will take just to get me back to where I was a few short weeks ago. I want to be me, I want to be normal, I want my life back - but right now I feel like I have a mountain to climb, and despite having support, in reality only I can drag myself back up, a task that right now might as well be an actual mountain soaring over my head :(

Housekeeping

After the very scary Laptop Dying Incident of the last few weeks, I've had to look at my lazy attitude to backing things up.

Don't get me wrong, I DO back some things up, my photos for example. All are safely stored on an external hard drive as well as being backed up on the second drive on my laptop. I don't back anything else up regularly though, something I will most definitely be rectifying as soon as funds allow the purchase of a nice big 1TB hard drive.

When the laptop first died, I just presumed it was the charger again, but when that didn't work things got a bit scary and thoughts first started swirling round my head that I could lose everything on here. I'm sure it's a thought that most of us entertain at some point, but are comforted by "Oh it won't happen to me...." Now I know it might do and so I'm going to spend the day doing a bit of housekeeping. My old 80GB drive is nearing capacity (the 20GB of iTunes might have something to do with it) and so I'm going to go through all the old pictures on there and cull some, I'm a hoarder, always have been and I think it's time to say good bye to some truly astonishingly bad shots, such as these treasures.....

I don't think I'll miss any of them do you? With barely any memory left it's time to clean up my act I reckon, and stop hanging on to rubbish - one day I'll learn to apply this methodology to my life....but one step at a time eh? :)

Quick Catch Up...

This work lark really does get in the way of the interesting parts of life doesn't it? When you add 12 hour shifts into the mix it really does get in the way of anything even vaguely interesting!

It's been an odd month so far, my birthday was fun and Valentines Day was quiet due to work, although I did get a beautiful poem written for me, but work really has taken over, with my phased return well and truly over and trying to get to grips with working every day. It's been hard, harder than I thought, but hard as in tiring physically not mentally and I think I'm coping quite well all things considered.

Last weekend brought with it a bit of a novelty. Due to the success of the last court hearing, and the new amicable relationship between Dan and his ex-wife, he had an extended weekend of contact with his boys. The plans for the weekend were drawn up between them and he was away from Friday to Monday. According to Hague he had a truly wonderful weekend, with time spent with family, friends and Muppets :) It's honestly been a revelation since the last court hearing. Things are moving forward in a positive and  constructive way and everyone seem happy with this progress....and hearing about paintings, football, milkshakes and all the other things that little people love doing with their Dad is more than enough to compensate for being alone for the weekend :)

To be fair it wasn't a massive hardship being on my own. I can count on one hand the nights we've spent apart since we've been together, and not having him here means I can please myself....so....the 43 episodes of Come Dine With Me on the Sky+ box have been reduced to 9, the animals spent a night in bed with me and I ate a lot of Lemon tart :) I still missed him though!

This week has continued with the "I'm Missing Hague" theme, with 3 twelve hour shifts, we've been like ships in the night, something we are well and truly rectifying this evening. Due to the ever wondrous generosity of The Parentals we have two bottles of Las Vegas Jack Daniels to drink and a whole weekend to enjoy together, so I shall leave you dear blog, and head off to enjoy the rest of this Saturday evening with the men I love....Hague and Jack ;)

MIA

Missing in action, that's me! Unfortunately the action hasn't been that exciting, it's been work. Over the last two weeks I've worked over 90 hours, and as such I just haven't been able to find time to do any interesting things, or to blog about the uninteresting things I've been up to.

Sorry for the neglect, I shall be back with a sparkling and witty post covering my adventures in February very, very soon!
xx

My Exploring Shoes

Today we had planned to go to the Valentine's Beer Festival at the BlackFriars Brewery, but neither of us had a great night and it took an enormous effort just to drag ourselves out of bed and into the car to go and pick up a freecycled DVD player.
When we were driving home we passed The WaterWays on the seafront. Due to it being absolutely bloody freezing just about all the water was frozen - it looked gorgeous, but I hadn't brought my camera or a coat and so we headed off home.

Indoors I snuggled up on the sofa, fully prepared for a whole lot of nothing, but the blue sky outside and the thought of the beautiful frozen gardens kept gnawing away at my head and so I gave up, and in the name of taking some pictures and getting off my butt (part of my ever exciting Get Off My Butt And Do More regime) I wrapped myself up all cosy and set out.

Now the WaterWays are way up the North end of the sea front, past the piers and I guess past the radar of some of the tourists who confine themeselves to the Golden Mile, but they have been there since 1928. When they were built the water contained boats which were electrically propelled around the gardens. The boats are long since gone, but the bridges are still there, and it's still a pretty little hideaway away from the bustle of the arcades and beach.

I'd never had a wander around there before and took the opportunity to take quite a few pictures, avoiding the ice and snow that was still surprisingly abundant. Most of my time was taken around the lake, where the ducks where crammed into a much smaller area than usual, and as such were easy to get nice and close to. I thoroughly enjoyed my walk, getting some fresh (cold) air, and taking some pictures and once again I find myself wondering why I don't go exploring more often.....

The WaterWays ...

Big Ol' Rant!

I'm quite an easy going type of person. Not much gets my back up except a "Veggie" that eats fish, that's jut how I roll....however...our recent purchase of the complete Harry Potter box set on blu ray, and our dedication to watching them all has re-introduced me to possibly the worst book to film translation EVER...

Now, I love the Harry Potter books. I love the subtlety of the clues to the whole tale weaved effortlessly throughout the seven books. I love the character development and the underlying message of friendship, loyalty and love. The films were never going to be truly faithful. After all you can't fit everything from a book the size of a brick into less than 2 hours - never going to happen, but even with restraints the first five films aren't bad. Yes some of the subtlety is lost in favour of clunking great signposting, some wonderful characters are lost, and whole storylines are cut - but I can accept that. With The Half Blood Prince that isn't the case, in fact I can remember leaving the cinema angry, and wondering how the hell they could even make The Deathly Hallows after the utter shambles of HBP!

So after watching it again last night I just have to get some of this off my chest (before Hague kills me for repeating it all every time we watch it!).

(Big Ol' Spoilers BTW!)

1. Why invent some random love interest on the Underground shite instead of showing Dumbledore visiting the Dursleys?
2. The Other Minister - so much explanation in that simple scene, why cut it?
3. Why cut Dobby and Kreacher? Or Harry's inheritance of Grimmauld Place and Buckbeak?
4. When you are pushed for time (cinematically speaking) why invent pointless and contradictory scenes like the burning of the Burrow? How about you use those wasted minutes on the Dumbledore memories that are ESSENTIAL TO THE FECKING PLOT OF THE NEXT BOOK!
5. Ginny is feisty, fun, cheeky and massively popular, not a quiet, meek plank of wood.
6. Draco spends the whole film trying to get DeathEaters into the school, in the book this is so they can support him and help fight their way past the DA and the Order of The Phoenix members guarding the school.....with no battle, why are the DeathEaters there? They can't kill Dumbledore for Malfoy!
7. YOU CAN'T APPARATE INSIDE HOGWARTS, EVEN IF YOU ARE DUMBLEDORE!
8. Dumbledore stupifies Harry on the tower, are we really supposed to belief that the same Harry who recklessly goes to the Ministry of Magic in the middle of the night to save Sirius, who, as Hermione points out, has a bit of a hero complex just stands there whilst Dumbledore is surrounded by his enemies and then killed by the teacher Harry hates?? Seriously? He just stands by and watches? NO, NO, NO!!!!
9. Robbing Snape of the moment where his frustration of the last 15 years comes pouring out when Harry calls him a coward is just wrong on just about every level. Snape's anger at being called a coward is rightly a  huge, emotional moment and cutting it robs of what would have been more Alan Rickman fabulousness.
10. Would it have been so bloody hard to have the locket looking like the description in the book? It's the entire cover of the adult version of the book FFS!
11. The funeral - giving Dumbledore the send off he deserved should have been in the film. Fawkes' lament would have been more fitting than the random holding up of lit wands weirdness when he died.

Sorry to go on, but after re-watching the film all the old anger and frustration has come flooding back, and to  be honest, I doubt I'll watch it again. It's a mess, it has turned what was one of my favourite books into a travesty of frivolity, I mean with so much back story needed to continue the tale why focus on the stupid things? Ron and Lavender etc?

I shall stop now - but I'll look forward to hearing some of your views on this film :) Or even if you think one of the other films was worse?

Big Plans!

Next week I'm off work. "What?" I hear you cry from through the t'interwebs..."You've only just started to go back!" Well yes, that is indeed true, but my job involves working three weeks of shifts and then having a week off. This may sound heavenly but I don't get paid for that week off, and during those weeks of work I'll have rather a few 12 hour shifts, so it works out that I work roughly 48 hour weeks when I'm there...Anyhoo, that's not what I'm blogging about - but I thought I'd set the stage as it were :)

This is my first proper week off since back in August and I'm not planning on wasting it. I am going to get all those niggly little jobs done that I have been neglecting. The various piles of Things That Need Sorting Out will be getting sorted out. I'm starting small :)

Things That Need Sorting Out...

I am pondering sorting out the smallest bedroom, but it might not get done, so I might save that for my next week off in 4 weeks time!

Tomorrow, the little things in the living room WILL get sorted! I might then have a rest day on Tuesday and tackle the little bedroom on Wednesday. That leaves the rest of the week to do absolutely nothing except enjoy being at home, enjoy walking the WigglePig and enjoy my birthday - did I not mention that?? It's my birthday on Friday as well.

When you add to all this the fact that right now Great Yarmouth is covered in snow, Hague has declared that I am to be spoiled rotten today AND we have Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the house and you have one happy Karen! Long may it continue!

(January Book Club coming soon - I promise!)

Published :)

I'm published. I have managed to cross an entry off of my Bucket List! I normally always have a quick flick through the local free paper, but for some reason this week, I didn't and Hague had already made a home for it in the recycling bin. I then got a FB message asking if it was my picture in the paper.....

Cue a panicked search through the recycling bin and a peruse of the paper and there it was - my photograph in print for all of Great Yarmouth to see (if they bother looking at the free paper). I was SO excited!

Okay, so it's part of an article about the iWitness website which encourages people to upload their pictures of local events and pictures of interest, but they chose mine and it truly did make my day :)

I'm famous!

Happy Birthday Bayleigh Boo

I know she's a dog, but to me she's my little girl, and I don't care if you think that's sad :op

Today she is seven and I can't believe how quickly that's come around, it seems like yesterday I went and picked her up. 10 weeks old and just about all ears and paws. Utterly adorable!

As far as I'm concerned she only got cuter - although that lovely blackness on her back soon disappeared, so here is a shot of her at 6 months old....

Still all ears and paws :)
Over the years she has been my constant. Through the breakdown of my marriage, through the trials of a messy new relationship she has always been there.
She is soppy, messy, scruffy, sweet and loving and yes, she might be "just" a dog, but she has been one of the most wonderful things I've been lucky enough to have in my life.

So my BooBooStink, my WigglePuppy, my DogBot, my StinkyPuppy, my Bayleigh Boo, my little girl.....happiest of birthdays and may we share many, many more together xx

Slowly Improving

2012 started off quite poorly as I blogged a couple of weeks ago, but since then it does seem to have bucked up its ideas a wee bit.
So far, in a mere 23 days this year has included two family deaths, a court hearing, still no CRB for Hague and utter skintness.

However....

Things are looking up, no-one else has died, thank goodness, and the court hearing last week went exceptionally well. Both Hague and his ex sat down and discussed the issues and came to an agreement together. Something that really does seem to have brought out the best in both of them and the current respectful, helpful and polite way that issues are being dealt with is the best thing we could have possible hoped for - long may it last for the good and welfare of all involved :) Add to that the fact that soon Hague will be having extended contact with his boys and it's definitely a bit of a high spot for the year so far!

The much delayed CRB finally seems to be in its final stages, Hague's soon to be employers are keeping him informed so hopefully he'll be back at work within the next few weeks. A development which will seriously help with the skintness, and will allow us to maybe start to save for some of the home improvements we've been unable to complete.

Finally my ground-breaking scheme to lose weight, Get Off My Butt And Do Stuff, has so far been working. The combination of being back at work, and so being way more active and me making little decisions regarding portion sizes and what I'm eating has resulted in my losing 4lbs so far this year. This means I'm still on track for my 1lb a week target without me feeling like I'm actually dieting or anything! Go me!

Soon I'll be back at work full time (next week) and so life will slowly be getting back to normal. I hope this is another huge step towards my full recovery. The last stage will be the slow removal of the anti-depressants, but baby steps eh?

Manic!

I'm still here, honest! I'm just struggling with this work lark, and balancing it out with the fun parts of life! I shall return very shortly with more in-depth, fascinating and deeply thought provoking posts for your perusal and enjoyment....

Or just more mindless wafflage :)

2012? Must Try Harder!

11 days in and already 2012 looks set to be complete and utter shite....So far this year we (as a family) have lost 2 people. My Dad's Cousin and her Mum....within a week of each other. Dad was shocked enough to lose his Cousin, to have that followed so swiftly by the death of his Aunt has knocked him a bit for six.

To add to that I heard to day that an old friend's brother hasn't beaten his cancer, and it has returned with a vengeance, so aggressively there is nothing they can do.

Days like today make you sit back and take stock. Make you remember how short life can be....I know these losses are not "close" family, but they are family nonetheless, and the loss is a heartbreaking one.

2012 really needs to buck its ideas up. After 11 days you really have delivered a whole lot of crap to a whole lot of people and some good news would be rather nice!

Nothing...

....can cheer you up and dismiss the trials of the day like a beautiful, chocolatey, kremey box of delicious doughnuts :)

Chuck in a bottle of Jack Daniels from the younger Hague brother and I've almost forgotten that West Ham were knocked out of the FA Cup as well :)

Zooooooooom!

2012 has barely started and already we're nearly at the end of the first week! Madness! I really don't know where the time goes sometimes.

I've managed to complete 2 shifts so far this week, with a third to do tomorrow, and I'm getting more involved with the tasks in my eventual job as part of my phased return, however...I'm still not sure that I'll be going back full time in just over a week, but I have a review with my boss tomorrow, so things will be clearer then. I actually feel fine about being back at work. It's a nice change, and it definitely makes me feel a whole lot better just being there and getting to know the new people I'll be working with. That has to be a good sign, but I'm struggling with the routine, with sleep and controlling my moods - I'm sure a happy medium will be found that lets me continue at work until I'm ready to get back into it full time :)

As for the rest of the week, Hague has had a phone call and hopefully his CRB check is in it's final stages and he might be starting his training by the end of the month - which is wonderful news. We also managed to get a statement sorted and posted off in time for his next court hearing, and my 365 has continued unabated, so things are definitely looking up in just about every area right now :)

One thing I haven't managed to do is weigh myself. Rather than diet this year I'm going to just make little changes to make me fitter and healthier, merely being at work will increase my activity and I'll be just cutting back on fatty things for now...but I need a measure, and my weight will be it - so I need to get my fat 'ol butt on the scales so I can get me (yet another) weight ticker to track my progress.

All in all, not a bad start to the year as far as I'm concerned!

December Book Club

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - Mary Ann Shaffer
A while ago I asked for recommendations on my FB page, I tend to read similar kinds of books and wanted to try something different. My friends came up with a huge variety of suggestions and this was the first one I chose...
It was something different for me, and I loved it. It's the story of a writer based in London just after the end of the Second World War, and how her life changes through the receipt of a chance letter. It also gives an insight into the occupation of Guernsey during the war. I adored the writing, and admired how the author gave each character their own voice (the book is written in letters from and to many of the characters) and how she brought alive a part of history I knew little about. Try it, it's fabulous :)

Holes - Louis Sachar
Another recommendation from FB, although this was a book I'd fancied for quite a while, but I am too tight to hand over nearly £5 of my own money for a Kindle book....so when I got a few Amazon vouchers I treated myself. This seems to be the story of a boy sent to a correctional camp for a crime he didn't commit, but it's so much more. It's not a long book, but the story grips you utterly and I couldn't put it down!

Integration - Stephen Edger
I tried this one as the reviews on Amazon were amazing. Five stars all the way with phenomenal things to say about this book.
So, although I enjoyed reading this book, I have learnt to not always believe Amazon reviews....
It's the tale of a normal guy who gets caught up in something way beyond his control, and how his whole life is turned upside down. It's a good enough read, although somewhat formulaic and frustratingly ended with a "To be continued" I'll be reading the follow up, as I do want to know what happens to Mark next. It's worth a read.

A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
I finished this not long before Christmas and it was simply wonderful :) Oh of course I knew the story, everyone from The Muppets to Bill Murray have done the story, but to read the original words, and the delightful turn of phrase that Dickens has in this tale was priceless. It is quite simply a magical story that is full of the spirit of Christmas. I think I'll find myself reading this before many future Christmasses :)

The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
Another one from the Big Read. I tried this one as it's supposedly an easier read than LOTR. I can't argue with that, after all I finished this one lol! Whilst I did enjoy the story, I can't say I loved it. It's obviously about Bilbo's journey, and much as I really tried to absorb it and love it, I just couldn't. It's okay, it's a story about a journey....but without the gorgeous depth of detail that would have made it come alive for me. I'm sorry, I know Tolkien's books are deemed wonderous, but not for me.

It's hard to pick a favourite this month. I can't say how much I loved Holes and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - they are both wonderful, amazing books that I am so happy to have been recommended and as they are both utterly different I just can't pick between them. Read them both, you won't be disappointed.
Worst is The Hobbit, I know I'll like the film - but the book just didn't do it for me!