Bucket List

I've never really thought about a Bucket List as such. There are a few things I'll turn around and say "Ooh I'd love to do that one day" about, but I've never prepared a list of them. As I'm sitting here watching the second series of An Idiot Abroad, I thought I'd have a bit of a think of some things I really would like to see, do or achieve before I shuffle off this mortal coil. So here, in no particular order, is the first draft of My Bucket List :)

To see the Northern Lights
Have one of my photographs published. DONE 27/01/2012
Lay on a dark, secluded beach and just spend the night looking at the stars(or anywhere without any light pollution at all).
Have a holiday in a beach cottage in the Maldives.
See turtles coming up a beach to lay their eggs.
Live in Cyprus, even if only for a year or two.
See West Ham play at Wembley.
Write a book (even if it's just for me).
Drive across America in a beautiful vintage convertible.
Read all of the Lord Of The Rings books all the way through!
See the cherry blossoms in Japan.
Reach my ideal weight.
Have my bedroom perfectly furnished and decorated.
See Orang-utans in Borneo.
See the sun rise or set over Uluru.
Have my lip pierced.
Keep my own chickens.
Visit New England in Autumn.
Make a Hallow e'en Pumpkin Lantern.
Cuddle a baby chimp.
Fly somewhere in Premium class :)
Be in the crowd to see the All Blacks perform a Haka.
Celebrate Hogmany in Edinburgh
Complete an OU degree

I know it's not the longest of bucket lists, and I'm sure I'll add more eventually, but I reckon it'll do as a starter for ten :)

Minxy's Monthly Book Club :)

Since I've had my Kindle, I have been reading more than I have done in years. I've re-visited some of my old favourites, and discovered some new authors and new books! In the spirit of sharing, I thought that at the end of every month I'd give a little bit of a review of the books and short stories I've read over the last month, and which one I liked best. I'm a nightmare for dipping in and out of books without finishing them, so I'll only put books here that I've finished :)
Oh - and I didn't realise that I'd read quite so many this month....sorry!!

Life and Laughing: My Story by Michael McIntyre
I really fancied this one, especially after really enjoying Peter Kay's books. Unfortunately I was a bit disappointed. I guess I was expecting it to be funnier, when in reality it is just his autobiography. Nothing wrong in that, and it was certainly interesting to learn more about Michael's parents and upbringing I was just left feeling it could have been so much more than it was...So I'd say only read it if you're a real fan who wants to know what made Michael the comedian he is, rather than expecting a comedic history.

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
A book I've been meaning to read for a while, as I have read practically none of the books that always appear on those top 100 lists! I enjoyed it, more than I expected actually, although it was shorter than I thought it would be. The film seemed to be quite a faithful interpretation of the book as well. I do love the idea of books being kept alive the way they are in the story as well.

I, Zombie by Nick Spalding (short story)
I discovered Nick by browsing through the Amazon free downloads list - this was a short story that seemed well rated and intriguing enough and so I downloaded it. It really is a very short story, about the length of a magazine article I guess, about a zombie who isn't quite a zombie yet, but it certainly made me chuckle. I enjoyed the style of writing and the twist on the usual zombie tale. As you can see, I went on to download quite a few more of his books and stories, so you can take that as a thumbs up!

Life...With No Breaks by Nick Spalding
This one is a "proper" book length book if you know what I mean. I really enjoyed it and read it in one sitting. Quite fitting as the book was written in one sitting. If you like reading blogs then you'll probably love this book. As I say, Nick wrote it in one sitting, and it's just an outpouring of his mind's meanderings, views and stories. I found it akin to sitting with a friend and putting the world to rights, enjoyable and not heavy going at all.

Life...On A High by Nick Spalding
Very similar to the previous book, however this one was written on flights to and from Australia. Once again very easy to read and get into. The perfect book if you're not looking for anything too taxing, you'll end up thinking you know Nick far too well lol!

Unlucky In Death by Dan Dillard (short story)
Another Amazon freebie, this time about a vampire who doesn't like blood - again, very short but it's got a funny little twist, and if you want something just to read during a lunch break it's perfect :)

The Cornerstone by Nick Spalding
Yep, another one by Nick, I'm really pleased I stumbled across him that's for sure. This is very different from the other two books, crossing into fantasy rather than reality. A bored teen stumbles across a very special book in his local library and finds himself transported to another world. I was intrigued by the blurb and as it was only a cheapie I bought it. The story captured me, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, although I would suppose that it's more aimed at the Young Adult market. It's a good read, and has some interesting twists and ideas. I'd recommend it anyway :)

Spine Slaughter by Nick Spalding (short story)
Very silly, but worth a read. Another short story by Nick. In fact I think I'd like to know more about the killer hedgehogs....

World War Z : An Oral History by Max Brooks
I'm never one to turn up a zombie story, and as a film is being made of this book I thought I'd give it a go. It was nothing at all like I expected. The story is told in a series of interviews which allows many different view points to the disaster encompassing earth. I really enjoyed it, I loved the fact that it was in-depth and not sensationalist, almost like reading a report on an actual event. Highly recommended.

Six Seconds (MIRA) by Rick Mofina
The first time I'd heard of or read any of Rick Mofina's books, and downloaded it as a freebie. I can't say the story was the best I've ever read, but it certainly gripped me enough to keep me interested until the end, although the ending is quite easy to see coming, but that doesn't make it a bad read by any means. Worth a read, especially as a free download!

A Walk In The Woods by Bill Bryson
My first re-read of the month!! That's good going for me :) I love Bill Bryson, I love his dry view of the world and his sweet optimism that everything will turn out for the best! This book journals his attempt to walk the 2000+ miles of the Appalachian Trail with his friend. Very funny and one to read if you haven't read any of his books before.

The Mayan Prophecy by Steve Alten
I downloaded this one after seeing a FB friend say they couldn't put it down. I'll agree that it does keep you reading, but some of that is to try and make sense of the story. It centres around the Mayan calendar ending in 2012 and what that means for mankind. It's okay, but the mixture of fact, historical information and sci fi is one that may not work for everyone...This is part one of a trilogy and I'm not entirely sure if I'll bother with the next one.

Next by Michael Crichton
I've read a few Michael Crichton books, but not for a while, so whilst I was browsing through my Kindle trying to work out what I wanted to read, I stumbled across this one. I am rather fond of a scientific/medical thriller type book and this one was about genetics. The therapies, research and hidden problems regarding the world of genetic research. I did enjoy this one, I'd say it was slightly too much, there are tons of side stories in this one, lots of characters to try and keep track of, and storylines that you get involved in but seem to be left loose. Besides that, it's a good book, and I enjoyed reading it, I also enjoyed the essay ending with Crichton explaining the reason he wrote the book and the explanations of his views on genetic testing. Besides, what's not to like about a book with an intelligent, talking Grey Parrot :)

So there you have it, all the books I've read this month. My favourite was Next, and I'd say the one I wouldn't bother with again would be Life and Laughing. Now I just have to decide what to read next month...any suggestions are welcome :)

Worth The Wait!

It finally arrived. After a wait of many weeks, and my anticipation reaching worrying heights....my Pottermore email appeared in my inbox this afternoon :)

I know I'm 36, I know I'm an adult, but I adore the Harry Potter books and was desperately waiting to have a look at the new website JK Rowling has created.

After a night which once again saw little in the way of decent sleep, an early start to see my Doctor to hear a verdict that I'm still not fit for work, and won't be for at least another 4 weeks it really was a boost to hear my email notification go off and see my Welcome To Pottermore email.

So - I am now a proud Slytherin called KnightSkull50 (you can't choose your username lol) with an 11" rigid Larch wood wand with a unicorn hair core...and I'm loving it!

(In case you're interested, Hague is a HufflePuff, which is quite sweet)

Worrying Ignorance...

In my current state of mind, not much gets my back up. I spend my days trying to insulate myself from the big bad world, staying nice and cosy in my head, however some headlines today have pushed me to the point of a blog...I know!!

On both the Sky and Daily Mail websites (and probably others) a story has been published regarding the controversy surrounding children taking part in MMA contests. Now, I appreciate that a lot of people who peruse my blog won't have a scoob (scooby doo = clue) what MMA is...if I substitute MMA  for "cage fighting" I may have a few more people who understand what I'm talking about.

MMA means mixed martial arts....remember those? Karate/Judo/Muay Thai/ Kick Boxing they are all martial arts disciplines. The sport of mixed martial arts combines all of these, plus Ju Jitsu and Wrestling. The resulting sport is an exciting combination of trying to get a submission and the skills of stand up skills such as boxing. I will concede that it's not a sport for the faint hearted, but then neither is boxing!

The very fact that so many skills are required make it a wonderful sport to me, seeing a bout containing the wealth of skills from Ju Jitsu, Wrestling, Boxing and Muay Thai really do make for the most exciting combat sport I've ever witnessed.

Back to the children though - children of 8/9 such as those in the sensational headlines do not wear headgear or  gloves. This isn't an oversight, a loophole screaming for the RSPCA to get involved, it's because they are not allowed to strike, kick or punch each other. This means that they are confined to grappling, using wrestling and Ju Jitsu skills alone.

Call me biased if you will, but when we are bombarded with tales of our obese children, surely the mere fact that some are taking interest in such a skilled sport should be applauded? These kids will learn discipline, they will learn how to defend themselves from attack and learn the importance of fitness and training when you want to succeed at sport.

People wouldn't think twice about sending their child to Karate classes, so why this blanket hate for a fledgling sport that few could truly claim to understand, but are quick to condemn and berate. Take a look before you mindlessly follow the crowds and get swept up in the Daily Fail mindset. Please?

Latest Addiction

As you may have noticed I get addicted to various things. These things become almost an obsession, burning brightly for a while until I either forget about them or get bored.

Recently they have been few and far between I guess, mostly my photography/365 and various FB games.

The one that has taken over though is Top Cashback. I scour the website for free offers, or for offers that give generous cashback for minimal outlay. I convert the cashback into Amazon vouchers and am currently saving all the pennies for the DVD boxset of Two and a Half Men. I don't know about you, but times are hard at the moment and money is tight so I can't think of a better incentive to just click through a cashback site before buying something you were buying anyway!

Even better (and perhaps partly the reason for this blog *blush*) is that you can also get cashback for referring people. To me it's a win/win situation....getting money back for things you were going to get anyway, and for letting people know about it, you can get even more money!

If nothing else it's worth a look, and if you do sign up, you might as well do it though my link eh?

Linky to TopCashback  :)

Faulty Dog

Boo had some blood tests today to check that her seizure wasn't due to an underlying issue with her liver, kidneys or heart. The vet found nothing out of the ordinary, while this is wonderful news for the health of Bayleigh it's once again bad news for my finances...

This little adventure has involved a total of £215 in Vet's fees. Early this year it was £50 on her dislocated toe, and over the years she's seen a back specialist for a back problem that totally vanished, the vets for an unexplained abscess, two years of (ridiculously expensive) medication for bad skin (that was ultimately eased by a change of food), and removal of lumps (one of which was cancerous).

Much as I love the little-legged, one dog hair shedding machine she is the faultiest dog I know! It's always one thing after another, and usually those things happen over a Bank Holiday weekend....

Ah the joys of dog ownership! Thank god for pet insurance and those scrobbly, floppy, droolly kisses!

Nightly Ponderings

Last night, whilst lying in bed, wide awake until 5am (yeah...sleep is still utterly crap). I made a few small decisions. Sensible decisions on ways I can help myself to get better, to make my life better and drag myself out of these doldrums that are dragging me down.

Number one on my mind was losing weight. Rather than dieting, I have decided to make small changes in my lifestyle and what I eat with a goal of losing just 1lb a week. That's it, anything more would be a bonus. I think that is sensible and sustainable and if I break my loss down like that, it's not so huge in my mind.

Number two is to have a sort out. This is the type of thing that always goes through my head, I suppose it's a way to improve my surroundings without actually spending any money (always a good thing as with my pay cut our outgoings become bigger than our incomings for the first time in a long while - not good). As with the weight loss, I have set myself small targets. I shall start with our bedroom, and each piece of furniture shall be tackled one at at time, keeping the task manageable and achievable.

I guess this is how I need to think right now, pushing my targets too far right now is likely to push me into panic and anxiety, rendering me useless to tackle anything constructive at all, so I shall face life like this for now, with baby steps.

One thing I do have to do though is force myself to start - lethargy is my biggest enemy right now. Safety and calmness are synonymous with the settee and non-thinking activity, I NEED to scare myself a little every day and pull myself out of my bubble, out of my comfort zone and take control. I think these little steps will help, perhaps without so many thoughts whizzing around my head I might actually sleep as well....I can but hope! :o) 

Scarey Old Day

Just when I think no more bad news can possibly head my way, I am yet again proved utterly wrong. After a not particularly nice day (doctor visit, supermarket visit, hideous low mood) me and Hague were winding down for the evening when Bayleigh (my Basset) started to retch and threw up on the carpet. Now, this isn't much of an issue - it's something that happens from time to time when you have pets, so it wasn't really much of anything to worry about until she unexpectedly tried to jump up on the settee with me, she knows she's not allowed and so I tried to push her down but she was strangely stiff...we got her on the floor and she was utterly rigid, limbs all straight out and her eyes were glazed.

Perhaps you know what's coming next, but I have never witnessed someone having a fit before and so I had no idea what was happening. Luckily Hague with his care work knew what was going on with her and did his best to calm me down, whilst trying to make sure Bayleigh was okay.

Seeing the pet you love in distress, voiding bowels and bladder, crying and fitting is awful, scary and terrifying. Even when she came round she wasn't right, eyes glazed and totally disorientated. When she finally got back to her feet she went from one extreme to the other, becoming hyperactive and distracted by everything, this finally gave way to constant crying which only calmed after a 1am walk.

Despite talking to the on call vet I still couldn't rest, although Bayleigh seemed fine, I was alert to any strange noises from downstairs and so barely slept a wink. My head spinning with thoughts of another fit, of tumours, cancer, brain problems and variations on these....the scariest of thoughts that always seem clearest in the dead of night when you are too worried to sleep.

Finally morning arrived, and with it a visit to the vet for my silly old doggie. She loves it there, luckily, so many other dogs to say hello to, and people making a fuss of her. Her tail even kept wagging whilst her temperature was being taken :)

The vet recommended blood tests, to check that her kidneys and liver are okay. The diagnostics then progress onto the scarier world of neurologists and MRI scans. However, she may never fit again. There really is no way to tell at the moment, especially if the (stupidly expensive) blood tests show nothing. At least now we have medication in case it happens again, the knowledge of what to do if it happens again and I guess we are also now forewarned that seizures can happen to dogs.

Today, she has been fine. Back to her usual self, silly, sleeping, whinging for food, getting very overexcited at the thought of having some cheese and not wandering far from my side. She's Bayleigh Boo, Wiggle Puppy, My Pickle, same as always. It just brought into sharp focus (again) just how much Bayleigh means to me, how much I care about her, and how I never, ever want to say goodbye to her.

My Bayleigh tonight...her usual cute self :)

The Moon

The moon, something I love to look at, something that can light up the sky and something special to me being a Pagan...and since I've got more into photography something I've been wanting to try and take some decent photos of.

My first efforts were on my little old Nikon - and were, to be frank, crap. A blurry white ball which could have been anything.

When I got my DSLR I thought it would be easy to get a moon shot, and tried on numerous occasions, still ending up with fail all over my face...

I then progressed to a zoom lens, surely this would be the equipment to finally capture a stunning shot of the moon? No...still a white blurry ball :o(

When I got my Powershot, I didn't hold out much hope and tried to get some shots on holiday in Auto mode - once again with no luck at all.

I'd almost given up hope, despite reading online how to do it, and investigating all sorts of photographically nerdy information I had not managed a decent pic. Until two days ago...I put the Powershot into manual, and used the settings recommended ...

I finally had a moon pic!!! Although it was slightly dark, and the moon wasn't full, but due to the sense of achievement it was my picture of the day!  (Day 252 if you're keeping track)

Today was a contact day for Dan and so involved a drive to Barnsley and back. On the way home the moon rose early and I just couldn't resist - normally the lure of the TomTom telling me her fairy tales about our arrival time mean that I can't be distracted from beating her by anything, but still high on finally capturing a moon shot I decided to stop...

Not so great, so perhaps I have a bit to learn about shooting the moon in daylight - still, as we drove, the moon rose higher, and became brighter and brighter, practically begging me to try again, to try and get a better picture, to do her justice.

Despite driving for over 3 hours, despite being out of the house for almost 14 hours, I couldn't resist, and tried once more...

I still have room for improvement, but I so pleased to finally have taken a decent moon shot! I don't officially have a photography Bucket List - but this was definitely on my imaginary, just in my head one, so I can now tick it off (until I take a better one)

The Best Laid Plans

I had big plans for today. Whilst (once again) struggling to sleep last night I decided that getting out of the house would help my mood and thought that we could pop down to the South Quay and have a mosey around the Great Yarmouth Maritime Festival (not the Marmite festival as one of my FB friends misread it...). I enjoy the Maritime Festival and normally try to pop along, as we're heading up to Barnsley tomorrow today was my only chance.

However...due to lack of sleep I woke up at 10.30 utterly shattered. Due to the long drive and early start tomorrow more sleep was not an option, therefore I dragged myself out of bed. The weather was grey and uninspiring and somehow I got sucked into the time abyss that is t'internet and found myself reading ever more bizarre 9/11 conspiracy theories until nearly 2pm. A very constructive way to waste hours I'm sure you'll agree... O_o

The motivation to leave the house was even lower by then, and despite promising myself (and my Mum) that I would leave the house to at the very least walk the dog and buy a lottery ticket it is now close to 9pm and whilst I have managed to buy a lottery ticket, order some (desperately needed) screen cleaner and even rustled up dinner (thank you Pizza Hut discount codes) the closest I have got to being outside was opening the garage door to admire the stunning sunset and take some pictures....

I really do fail at doing anything even vaguely required concentration, motivation or activity at the moment. Please hurry back Old Me, I quite liked you all things considered!

Today's sunset - the only thing worth moving from the settee for...

Oh So Pretty!

I was getting bored with the layout and colour scheme of my blog so I've had a bit of a play around with it. I think the pale violets and purples were a bit bleh, and wanted something a bit brighter - who knows perhaps it will help lift my mood?

Well? What's the verdict? Let me know what you think!

Feeling Better

Not so much my overall mood and well being, but I DO feel better for finally having my 365 project up to date. A small thing maybe but I've not uploaded any photos since my return from holiday, so was nearly a fortnight behind.

I'd kept on taking photos, so I hadn't actually missed a day, but it was definitely starting to bug me that I'd let the project lapse a bit.

I guess it's one of those depressive side effects, worrying yourself about minor things, well that minor thing is now as it should be, and I now have one less thing for my overactive brain to think and mull over in the small hours when I should be sleeping!

Post Holiday Blues

I suppose that post holiday blues are to be expected, however when you are already suffering from stress and depression before that holiday the comedown will always be awful. I'm now drifting down into a horrible place with only the memories of the holiday to keep me going...so...I shall endeavour to cheer myself up with some of the little high points of my holiday to try and keep my sanity within touching distance at least!

Reaching the villa at midnight and dipping our feet into the pool and then lying back and looking up at thousands of stars in the clear night sky.

Picking a lemon off a tree in the orchard and the amazing citrus smell of it.

Tasting a mojito for the first time!

Re-discovering what being relaxed felt like.

The first cold, cold can of Keo by the pool.

The amazing blue colour of the sky.

The breathtaking sunsets.

The delicious nibbly/cheesey/spinachy/olivey nommy things that the local bakery sold.

Greek yoghurt and honey.

My first proper Brandy Sour in 9 years!

Spending time, relaxed time, with Hague :)

The views on the drive to Pafos.

Eating the most delicious chips in the world.

Spending time, and celebrating 40 years of marriage (my Parentals) with my family.

Spending lots of time with my Nieces - and reading them Harry Potter as a bedtime story :)

Holiday Hague :)

Being disowned by my Mum for wearing 3 different swimsuits with different straps - this apparently is not the proper behaviour for suntanning, and led to my being disowned as the daughter of a professional sunbather lol!

Lying back in the pool, eyes closed, just floating in the cool water with the sun on my face.

Lizard spotting in the beach bar.

The receipt from the first shop that was bigger than Jenna!

Jack Daniels costing 16 Euros a litre!

Carys learning to swim.

The delicious tomatoes.

Walking into the air conditioned bedroom after sitting in the sun.

It really was the most amazing fortnight. The villa was in a wonderful location, with gorgeous views over the bay. The weather was hot - but not to the point of utter discomfort (the pool helped with that!). Being away reminded me why people have holidays, why they scrimp and save for those precious days of escape each year. I'd not been away in 5 or 6 years, not had a fortnight's holiday in 9 years and had truly forgotten how much that break is needed. 

Now though, I'm home...every part of me is yearning to be back in Cyprus, I miss the smell of the island, I miss the sun, the views, the feeling of utter contentment that washed over me whilst I was there, even after 6 or 7 holidays there the love for the island is still strong. But...I'm home, struggling with my state of mind, changes in work, debt, and all the other problems that are piling up...I shall keep the memories of this holiday as fresh as I can, I'll keep them close as a weapon to help beat down the depression that seems to be beating me down right now.

My tan may already be fading, but the memories I will keep bright and strong, to help me through.