Darkest Before Dawn?

So the saying goes, and believe me I hope that one is true. At the moment it seems to be one thing after the other, and not little things, not broken fingernails and gaining a lb. We're talking huge, life changing events that throw your whole life upside down.


I don't know where I am at the moment, even the ground beneath my feet doesn't feel solid anymore. I am trying so hard to stay positive, to not let myself get swamped by the (seemingly) never ending pile of shite my life seems to have become....


I'm hoping that normal service will shortly be resumed, that I'll have something nice, funny, interesting or just merrily random to post - so apologies, I'm doing my best! xx

I Don't Like Mondays (Especially This One)

I never have liked Mondays, but today has been pretty crap. I guess for people who aren’t at work it’s been lovely. Bright sunshine to enjoy in whichever way you choose.


I’ve been stuck at work, in an office where I can’t see the sun, trying and failing to stop myself thinking about the 11th of July and what the outcome will be for me. I can’t help but feel that my life will be changing quite dramatically very soon, and not in a good way. I hate feeling unsettled like this, I like to know what’s going on, in fact when it comes to work being stuck in a rut isn’t a bad thing. I like being able to rely on my job, on my wages and right now everything has been thrown up in the air and I just have to wait until the pieces fall back down.


The weekend was so, so lovely, and it felt easy to let the worries melt away. To feel that as things were out of my hands it was futile to worry. However, being back at work has brought everything into sharp focus. It’s just about the first thing people ask me about and just being here has made everything real again, something to worry about again. It’s a horrible feeling, and as much as I moan about work I have truly never felt as miserable to be here as I do at the moment. Enthusiasm and motivation are gone. All the tasks and projects that I was planning to get my teeth into are colourless, pointless, until I know…..But then you have the other question…What to do when I DO know, when the axe has fallen. If I keep my job, 3 others are losing theirs, maybe not unemployed, but certainly not in this position anymore. The “successful” ones will have to try and deliver the job of two people, and the rest of us will have to take stock, adjust and try to come to terms with this bolt out of the blue.

Mondays truly, totally, utterly suck – and today might just be the suckiest :o(

I Never Get Bored Of Birthdays :)

Another day, another birthday celebration - today's was for the lovely Mr H. His actual birthday isn't until tomorrow, but Monday's are a bit of a pain in the arse for celebrating anything, so his wonderful wife Gemm sorted out a bit of a surprise get-together for him today.


We went bowling first, girls vs boys. Much merriment, competitive-ness and triumph ensued as we spent a couple of hours in the bowling alley. I'm sure it won't come as much of a surprise that us ladies took much longer to complete our games....this may have been something to do with the constant nattering and singing along to the cheesy 80's music that for some reason was blaring out, or perhaps it was just that we took our time, as were were the victors over the boys!! The birthday boy's Mother in Law was in fact the star player of the day!


Muchly in need of nomz after all that excitement we headed for a restaurant and the combination of the relaxed, unrushed service, the wonderful company and the glorious weather made for a really nice afternoon. The food (well mine certainly) was delicious and it was nice not to have to force a main course down roughly 3 nano-seconds after you've put the cutlery down from your starter!!


Gemm had arranged another surprise and presented Simon with his birthday cookie, complete with candles after dinner (my picture of the day) I must admit, it was absolutely gorgeous, might have to drop hints to Hague for my birthday lol!! It really was shame to have to leave, but being a Sunday, there was work to think about, and the Menagerie who'd been on their own all afternoon. It truly was lovely to spend time with such great company and I can't wait to do it again!


So here we are, Sunday evening once more, with a whole week at work ahead, but with a weekend behind me that has gone a long way to cheer me up. Add in a new episode of Top Gear and a couple of cold lagers whilst enjoying some comedy on TV and I think we are rounding out this weekend nicely.

Simply Kindle-Tastic

My much lusted after, eagerly awaited present to myself has arrived. My Kindle! I even managed to drag myself out of bed at 8am this morning at my Sister's to ensure I was home in case it was delivered early - unheard of on a Saturday!


It didn't actually arrive until nearly 1pm, and was put straight onto charge, I've spent most of this afternoon uploading books for it, sorting out settings for it and generally falling madly in love with it! I've already read an entire book, something I've not got round to doing in months. It's going to make it so easy for me to indulge in my love of reading at the drop of a hat, anywhere and everywhere!


A gorgeous skin and case are already ordered, and when it's protected it will be coming EVERYWHERE with me :) It truly is a wonderful gadget, and am sure it will be in constant use when I'm on holiday...and at work...and when I might be waiting somewhere for 5 minutes.....when I'm bored with t'interwebz...etc etc etc!


All mine :)

In other news, the weekend has been lovely so far. It was my Sister's birthday yesterday, so we spent some time there - as always chatting about everything and nothing and having a few drinks and a lot of giggles. Today has been spent relaxing, watching lots of Open All Hours on DVD, having a few beers and just winding down after such a stressful week. Tomorrow should be good fun as well, with dinner out and some bowling. It's been nice to have a weekend like this after the last week, it feels like a drop of fun and normality has surrounded us, and our world feels a happier, relaxed place because of it.

Excited!

Payday is tomorrow, I've been checking my bank since 8pm to see my wages go in......I've been paid, and now............


My Kindle is ordered!!


I am SO excited. I can barely contain myself! I'm getting a Kindle! *yaybounceglee*


It'll be here Saturday :) 


KindleKindleKindle - need to calm down, I need to be in bed! lol!

Dark Days

Strange isn't it? Happy days are so easy to blog about, the simple act of writing about them brings them to the forefront of the mind again, recalling the little things that made for such a pleasurable moment.


When bad things happen you have to ponder the words, force them out. All the while wishing they hadn't even happened at all, wondering if airing them will help or hinder the mood you find yourself in.


Today is definitely a bad day. We seem to have our fair share of them, but life seems to rejoice sometimes in pushing me to the limit :( The one thing in my life I thought was reasonably secure, isn't. The job I enjoy may disappear. I'm trying not to think the worst of the situation, as it's not a foregone conclusion, but honestly? I'm distraught, upset and overwhelmed.


My sensible head tells me that things will always work out somehow, that things are never as bad as they seem, but right now those words mean nothing. Right now I can't see the light at the end of this never-ending tunnel, and even the bright little milestones we hold on to during our weeks have failed us today.


As far as I'm concerned 22nd June 2011 can f*ck off! Perhaps I should just go to bed now to stop anything else happening?? :(

Random Things Of Wonderfulness!

I’m in a deliciously happy mood today, so lots of things that make my heart soar are currently whizzing through my head, so I thought I’d share some with you :o)

 

• Waking up and seeing glorious weather (and being able to use the word glorious in relation to the weather).
• Having Flump sit on my shoulder, which means I can rest my cheek on her soft fur and feel her purring.
• Reading a totally out of the blue declaration of deep love from my gorgeous and beautiful Man.
• Trying a new food or dish and being blown away by how good it tastes.
• The way Bayleigh walks, with her wonderful little legs trotting away, tail held high and ears swinging.
• The sound of the sea.
• Seeing an amazing sunrise or sunset, where the colours take your breath away and make you wish the sky could always look that way.
• Rainbows.
• When you bite into a Strawberry and it tastes perfect.
• Waking up half asleep and feeling an arm pull you closer for a sleepy cuddle.
• Hearing from someone utterly random that they love my photographs.
• Walking barefoot on cool grass.
• Waking up and seeing that it has snowed during the night.
• Hague....always Hague x

Teetering On The Edge!

Or the Tale Of The Mysterious Hoover....


Today has been a very weird day. I (just for a change) didn't have much sleep last night, so having to get up early was a struggle and I've felt tired all day. However I've been in a reasonably good, if slightly unsettled mood.


The unsettled feeling had started a few days ago when I noticed the hoover in the spare room. The black Vax hoover...I thought we had a purple and silver Tesco hoover....When I mentioned this to Hague his response was confused and he told me this WAS our hoover.


I wish I could say I thought no more of it, but it's been slowly starting to niggle at me. I'm not particularly house-proud, and as Hague is at home at the moment the housework is his forte right now, but I should know what hoover we own.


Today, when I brought it up again, it drove Hague mad, and it made me start questioning myself, was I going slightly loopy? Had I dreamed up the other hoover? A quick google search showed me the exact hoover that I thought we owned, which just confused me all the more! To make things worse Hague was convinced that he could remember us buying the errant Vax!


When I got home we emptied out the cupboard under the stairs to see if the mysterious purple hoover was hiding, which it wasn't. I seriously, and genuinely have no idea what is going on, and now even Hague is questioning the Vax as my insistence over the existence of the invisible Tesco hoover is stirring memories in HIS mind of another hoover......


Oddness indeed - but, by emptying the cupboard we have found both the "safe place" file we couldn't find and Hague's missing passport. Plus, the inability of my Father to understand the concept of an amount of money under £100 means that we have been able to treat ourself to a pizza tonight.


I shall keep you informed of The Tale Of The Mysterious Hoover....

Fathers Day In A Nutshell....

Bit of a whirlwind today, so here we go.....


Up too early
Start drive to Barnsley
Turn around after 5 minutes as I'd forgotten my phone
Tank up
Hague dozes before we reach Norwich
Audiobook goes on
Nice clear drive
Arrive ooop North early
Hague has lovely afternoon with boys
I steal MaccyD's t'interwebz
Try to ring Fatherly Parental
Get bored with t'interwebz cos my work laptop is lacking flash player so my Cafe goes untended.
Audiobook goes back on
Sunshine is too much to resist so I find a green bit.
Sit in the sun a lot
Try to ring Fatherly Parental again
Take a lot of pictures
(Audiobook still on)
Try and nap and fail miserably
Try to ring Fatherly Parental at Clairey's
Audiobook goes back on
Early phone call from Hague to get picked up
Quick visit with the In Laws = nice chat, stolen drink, britvic order, foiled toilet visit!
Get in car
Laugh at TomTom's arrival time
Yabbit on for 3 hours putting the world to rights.
Arrive home 42 minutes before TomTom said we would
Clear crap out of car
Have an enormous cup of tea
Upload piccies to Facebook


Finally relax!
Realise it's been 4 days since I've blogged so feel I should say something...
Adds a picture for the hell of it :)

Happy Father's Day :)

Job Satisfaction?? WTF?

It’s funny isn’t it, how sometimes you find yourself doing something and suddenly realise that you are actually A) quite enjoying it and B) quite good at it….

I suppose I’ve always enjoyed playing with computers, and have fully embraced the internet since I first stumbled across it, too many years ago to mention! Back in my childhood I used to sit at my Amstrad CPC-464 and painstakingly type in the lines and lines of code to create utterly pointless little programs that took so much effort and usually only delivered something in the realms of a flashing screen!

However, the creative-ness of the internet, of webpages and that whole realm of mystery have totalled passed me by. My knowledge of HTML barely scrapes the total basics and I wouldn’t know where to start with actually building anything on the t’interwebs.

This week at work though, I’ve had to create spreadsheets links and team sites on Sharepoint, and although frustrating at time, I’ve actually quite enjoyed it! It’s creation on a computer in a different way, and sad as it sounds I like finding out all the things that Excel can do. I’ve managed to save lots of time and effort for people with precious little time to spare and create something efficient, simple and easy to use. It will also provide us with a database and record. I’m ridiculously proud of this, but when I started out, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to even manage the task!

Today, I have decided to set up a team site for myself and my colleague so we can pool our information and resources to help us work more efficiently. It’s a simple process, just using another Microsoft tool (Sharepoint) but I’m enjoying the creation of it – the putting together of something that will make life easier. The considering of all the factors, documents, aspects and tools we might use and making sure they are accessible. I’ve found it strangely relaxing and fulfilling!

Who knew making things organised, streamlined and simple could be my forte? Such a shame that I fail miserably to organise on even a tiny scale at home….. ;o)

Feeling Overwhelmed!

Today has been a day of feeling overwhelmed in all kinds of different ways....


By tiredness when I had to drag myself out of bed this morning after a restless night.
By just how far away the weekend is.
By the usual tedium of a Monday at work, which coupled with being so tired made for a long day.
By the annoyances of excel.
By overcoming those annoyances and achieving something that I really had thought was beyond me at first.
By the delicious dinner that Hague had waiting when I got home today.
By just how tired I am.
By how fast August seems to be getting closer, and I still don't have a valid passport.


Most of all though, I have been collectively overwhelmed by just how many people are looking out for my daily pictures, my how many conversations I have with such diverse people about my project and the sheer amount of positive comments my pictures receive every day. It feels like something very special that my friends are actually looking forward to my pictures every day, and seeing one simple comment on Facebook has totally lifted my mood (I'm still bloody knackered though).

The Girlie Gene...

I do sometimes wonder if I'm missing a girlie gene...I like some feminine things, like jewellery, shoes and handbags, but I tend not to wear jewellery every day and I can't wear heels.


I'm sitting here, in a football shirt, drinking a lager, full of happiness as I've just booked the Haye vs Klitschko fight. Tonight we will probably be watching UFC, and have spent the afternoon watching the Canadian GP qualifying....


I don't like housework much, and I'm not particularly houseproud, I live in my trainers most of the time and I drive my car too fast. I think burps and farts are funny and am a fanatical football fan, in fact I had a season ticket for about 10 years (before it got too expensive).


I can't be bothered to style my hair, a brush and it's done, my favourite films include Snatch and The Resident Evil films and I used to play with toy cars instead of dolls!


Don't get me wrong, I love being a woman - but I seem to be missing some essential bit of girlyness that contains the answer to how to walk in heels, how to iron, how often to polish and the patience to put make up on everyday :) I guess some would describe me as a Geeza Bird, or a Ladette, but it's how I've always been and I have nothing to prove. Although I reckon a firm understanding of the offside rule and a passion for the art of Pugilism can't hurt when it comes to being a perfect girlfriend..........wait....is that a girlie notion?? lol!

Timeless Gift

To me, there is something wonderful about reading. Curling up with a good book and just losing yourself in a story, another world, another life. When I was young I read everything! Anything put in front of me, I'd read. From a young age I've loved books and it's never left me. The first books I can remember actually received as a gift were a set of paperbacks of The Chronicles of Narnia. I had borrowed them over and over again from the library and a friend of my Mum's at the time brought them as a birthday gift. This was nearly 30 years ago. I still have those books, and when the urge takes me, I still read them as well. I still soak up every word and find the stories as magical as I did when I was a child.


I've always had a notion to get the same books for one or other of my Nieces when they were old enough to enjoy them. At the moment, Jenna is nearly 8, and Carys just 5. Jenna is more into making things and her gymnastics than reading, but Carys does love being read to, and is a pretty good reader herself already. I was wandering around the shops in Yarmouth a few weeks ago and came across a copy of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, beautifully illustrated on every page and slightly shortened and simplified for younger children. I picked it up on a whim, thinking that Carys might enjoy it.


We gave it to her on her birthday, which was on the 5th of June and this evening I received a text from my Sister....Carys is hooked! Apparently she hung on every word as my Sister read her the story, and has been watching the DVD over and over. It was a simple text, but the feeling of joy from such a simple thing was wonderful, something that I had loved so much as a child, had been adored by Carys. It's really hard to describe how that felt, but perhaps it's hard to understand unless you love the gift of reading as much as I do. 


When you have a love of reading you have a passport to go anywhere you want to go, whatever mood you may be in you will always find something to pique your interest and expand your mind in some way. If my simple gift to my 5 year old Niece has planted that little spark in her mind, I will be over the moon! There is so much to distract children (and adults) these days away from books, so much that diverts the mind in this age of short attention spans and electronics - but, if the electricity disappeared tomorrow, I'd be happy. I'd light a candle and curl up with one of my hundreds of books and lose myself all over again :)

Restoring My Faith

In this world of ours, we seem to spend most of our time moaning about customer service, about how bad it is, about how no-one seems to care for the customer anymore and very rarely do you hear something good….

I’m changing that today! I’ve been a customer of Specsavers in Great Yarmouth for only a few weeks, but I’ve been gobsmacked by just how good their customer service is.

My first appointment, where I had my eye test was punctual, relaxed and the staff were very friendly. When I returned to collect my glasses I brought my sunglasses with me as they had promised to replace a missing nose pad on them. Rather than just replace it, they replaced both and tightened up the frames – at no charge. They also spent time making sure the glasses fitted me correctly and were comfortable, unlike the Norwich store when I collected my first pair.

I was pleased enough with them already, but then we had to return one of my pairs of glasses as they had been damaged (for damaged read squished by a foot). I was a bit hesitant at going back, as the glasses had cost me £99 and I was expecting something like that to repair them as the frame was bent up and one of the lenses was broken. It was an accident that had damaged them not bad workmanship, so it wasn’t covered by the warranty, but thought I had nothing to lose by popping in and asking.

They had a look and said they could repair them and replace the lens for £10! I mean £10, that’s nothing is it? I honestly have nothing but praise for the staff and their customer service.

So thank you Great Yarmouth Specsavers, you have restored a little bit of my faith in the notion of good customer service.

I Don't Like Mondays

I know most people don’t, but the end of the weekend always seems to herald a feeling of the utter grumps.

The thought of being at the furthest possible point from the weekend, with a whole week of work stretching ahead of me always puts me in a bit of a bad mood. I don’t seem to sleep well on a Sunday night, and however early I drop off I always end up feeling shattered when I wake up.
I tend not to have to get up too early either, but just struggle to open my eyes when my alarm goes off….

I’ve thought about this so much, about the struggle I have with the way of work, and I’ve decided it’s the lack of freedom I don’t like. I am under someone else’s authority whilst I’m at work. Bound by their times, rules and regulations. Having to be there at a certain time, whilst wearing certain clothes, and being unable to express myself as an individual in any way.

My time being stolen away by tedious tasks which only have meaning inside these four walls, I can’t be creative, I sit at a desk making charts, presentations, chasing up tasks and writing procedures.

I need to be free, I need to be me, I need to be able to live how I want, do what I want every day – free myself from the constraints of “normal” life….but I’m trapped, as most of us are trapped with a mortgage, bills and obligations, the grown up chains that keep us treading the monotonous 9-5 life trying not to let our wings be clipped – living for moments of freedom, for that glorious time that is all our own, to do with whatever we wish :o)

Is it Friday yet?

Birthday Season Begins!

For my family, birthday season takes up most of the Summer! Today was the start of a few weeks in which both my Nieces, my Sister and both my Parents celebrate birthdays! Thank God for my divorce, as that was another Birthday and Anniversary sandwiched in there as well!


The first celebration of Birthday Season is Carys May's birthday, my youngest Niece. Also known as Mini-Me as she is so very like me :) She was 5 today, and wanted to spend the day at her Nanny's for a Barbecue, my Mum duly obliged, and we had a wonderful day, despite my Dad only being able to join us via Yahoo Messenger due to being in India :(


A combination of a new bike AND a new scooter, new dress, Pimms (for the adults), good food, hot tub and a day of mostly sunshine made for a day of sweet memories, and even my new lens landing on the floor and smashing the filter couldn't spoil the day (although they may not have been the case if it had broken the lens O_o).


So - Happy 5th Birthday Carys May, I hope it was wonderful for you and it will be a day you'll remember :)

Such Bee-auty In The World

One thing I've noticed since I started my 365 project this year is how much more I see. Every walk is full of photo opportunities, every time I leave the house I see something else and because of that I try and take my camera (or one of them) with me everywhere I go. I'd hate to miss something stunning!


I've missed a few things so far this year, mostly when I just couldn't stop, including a pair of swans with their cygnets - but slamming on the brakes whilst doing 60mph is not the best idea!!


Being part of the 365 project website has opened my eyes to so many inspirational people and ideas and one of the photos I wanted to take was a close up of a Bee. I can't afford a macro lens, but found a macro filter for £2.79 and to be honest, whilst I've enjoyed experimenting with it, I wasn't hopeful of getting a wonderful shot.


Today, whilst walking Bayleigh, the opportunity presented itself. There is a small area of our local park which has been left for the wildflowers, and it was alive with Bee's today, so I did my best - and seeing as I only had limited time (Bayleigh doesn't do patience) I'm pleased with the shots I got. I get the feeling I'll be heading back sooner rather than later though! I'm loving this learning curve I'm on!!