Wednesday 14 September 2011

Nightly Ponderings

Last night, whilst lying in bed, wide awake until 5am (yeah...sleep is still utterly crap). I made a few small decisions. Sensible decisions on ways I can help myself to get better, to make my life better and drag myself out of these doldrums that are dragging me down.

Number one on my mind was losing weight. Rather than dieting, I have decided to make small changes in my lifestyle and what I eat with a goal of losing just 1lb a week. That's it, anything more would be a bonus. I think that is sensible and sustainable and if I break my loss down like that, it's not so huge in my mind.

Number two is to have a sort out. This is the type of thing that always goes through my head, I suppose it's a way to improve my surroundings without actually spending any money (always a good thing as with my pay cut our outgoings become bigger than our incomings for the first time in a long while - not good). As with the weight loss, I have set myself small targets. I shall start with our bedroom, and each piece of furniture shall be tackled one at at time, keeping the task manageable and achievable.

I guess this is how I need to think right now, pushing my targets too far right now is likely to push me into panic and anxiety, rendering me useless to tackle anything constructive at all, so I shall face life like this for now, with baby steps.

One thing I do have to do though is force myself to start - lethargy is my biggest enemy right now. Safety and calmness are synonymous with the settee and non-thinking activity, I NEED to scare myself a little every day and pull myself out of my bubble, out of my comfort zone and take control. I think these little steps will help, perhaps without so many thoughts whizzing around my head I might actually sleep as well....I can but hope! :o) 

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