A sad day today for Dan, a call from his ex resulted in him hearing the words that every Dad who lives apart from his children dreads – the children had asked if they could call their Mum’s new partner “Dad”
To her credit, she informed them that they will only ever have one Dad, and that is Dan, but accepted that they can’t continue to call her fiancé by his first name all the time. Between them they are going to sit down and find a name for him. This is all part of recovering after a divorce I guess, what makes is harder for me is the fact that far from having a name from the boys (although I’ll be happy with Karen!) I haven’t even seen the boys since the Autumn of 2008.
I’m happy for the boys that they have another person who loves them dearly, will look out for them and be there for them when Dan can’t be, but I can’t help but feel upset and angry at the lost opportunities of the last 2 ½ years. Dan never wanted to lose touch with his children, but ended up not seeing them for months on end. I am desperate to see them and my family are desperate to meet them, but so far this hasn’t happened.
I hope, once again, that things are progressing in the right way now – that the interaction between Dan and his ex can stay on this steady, mature ground. On a selfish note, I hope that I can become part of the boys’ lives – never as a Mother figure, they have their Mum, but as someone who loves them, loves their Dad and wants nothing but the best for them as they grow up with the support of four families that love them, rather than just two.
To her credit, she informed them that they will only ever have one Dad, and that is Dan, but accepted that they can’t continue to call her fiancé by his first name all the time. Between them they are going to sit down and find a name for him. This is all part of recovering after a divorce I guess, what makes is harder for me is the fact that far from having a name from the boys (although I’ll be happy with Karen!) I haven’t even seen the boys since the Autumn of 2008.
I’m happy for the boys that they have another person who loves them dearly, will look out for them and be there for them when Dan can’t be, but I can’t help but feel upset and angry at the lost opportunities of the last 2 ½ years. Dan never wanted to lose touch with his children, but ended up not seeing them for months on end. I am desperate to see them and my family are desperate to meet them, but so far this hasn’t happened.
I hope, once again, that things are progressing in the right way now – that the interaction between Dan and his ex can stay on this steady, mature ground. On a selfish note, I hope that I can become part of the boys’ lives – never as a Mother figure, they have their Mum, but as someone who loves them, loves their Dad and wants nothing but the best for them as they grow up with the support of four families that love them, rather than just two.
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