An odd day today. It is the day of the much awaited and once adjourned second directions hearing regarding Dan's contact with his children. The boys live in Barnsley, 185 miles away from us in Great Yarmouth, and as is usual, the hearing is at the court closest to them - so a long old drive and a long old day.
Dan was in front of the judge for around 10 minutes, long enough for the judge to register his utter disgust for his interpretation of Dan's behaviour whilst he has been ill. As Dan put it he was "utterly reamed".
When he first got back to the car and told me, I was so annoyed at the judge, how dare he decide all this and lay blame where it wasn't due....however, Dan could have done more to stay in contact whilst he was ill, and during the course of the 4 hour drive home we have taken many positives from today...
Yes Dan was ill, very ill with a ruptured appendix, a wound that re-opened and then further damage to the nerves in his back...however, that should not have stopped him picking up the phone to talk to his boys.
Yes, it's easier not to have to deal with his Ex, but she's not going anywhere anytime soon, so she shall be dealt with swiftly, politely, and strictly on topic.
Yes it's easier to act like a victim, and blame others - but facing up to things gives a real sense of achievement, and looking into the eyes of someone you love and knowing they are proud of you is worth fighting for.
The boys deserve a Dad they can look up to - and I truly believe that today is the turning point. Today is the day when Dan will really push towards being that man, for the ones he loves. Sometimes you do need to take a good, hard look at yourself to realise who you are and what you want. I truly believe today was that day for Dan.
Perhaps now he'll learn to listen to his wonderful, all knowing girlfriend ;o)
Dan was in front of the judge for around 10 minutes, long enough for the judge to register his utter disgust for his interpretation of Dan's behaviour whilst he has been ill. As Dan put it he was "utterly reamed".
When he first got back to the car and told me, I was so annoyed at the judge, how dare he decide all this and lay blame where it wasn't due....however, Dan could have done more to stay in contact whilst he was ill, and during the course of the 4 hour drive home we have taken many positives from today...
Yes Dan was ill, very ill with a ruptured appendix, a wound that re-opened and then further damage to the nerves in his back...however, that should not have stopped him picking up the phone to talk to his boys.
Yes, it's easier not to have to deal with his Ex, but she's not going anywhere anytime soon, so she shall be dealt with swiftly, politely, and strictly on topic.
Yes it's easier to act like a victim, and blame others - but facing up to things gives a real sense of achievement, and looking into the eyes of someone you love and knowing they are proud of you is worth fighting for.
The boys deserve a Dad they can look up to - and I truly believe that today is the turning point. Today is the day when Dan will really push towards being that man, for the ones he loves. Sometimes you do need to take a good, hard look at yourself to realise who you are and what you want. I truly believe today was that day for Dan.
Perhaps now he'll learn to listen to his wonderful, all knowing girlfriend ;o)
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